Trigger warning: This story touches on topics concerning mental health and suicide. If you, or someone you know, would like to have a free, confidential chat with someone they can trust, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit their website here.
With Prince Harry’s mental illness docuseries – made in collaboration with Oprah, Lady Gaga and Glenn Close – having debuted last Friday, the palace braced themselves for more Harry-made controversy.
WATCH: The first trailer for Prince Harry’s new mental health documentary
“Harry has proved he doesn’t intend to leave any stone unturned in telling all about his private life, despite the fact that when he left the family he claimed he wanted more privacy, and more importantly, despite the fact that him shouting his pain from the rooftops jeopardises his family’s privacy,” a source dished to New Idea.
“Let’s just say the Buckingham and Kensington Palace press teams have certainly battened down the hatches over this.”
And it seems they were right to do so as Harry did indeed leave no stone unturned as he delved into his private life with Oprah.
Speaking candidly with the presenter, Harry discussed his past battle with drugs and alcohol. The Duke confessed that the hardest time of his life was when he was around 28 to 32, explaining he suffered from severe anxiety and panic attacks which caused him to turn to alcohol as a crutch.
“I would just start sweating. I would feel as though my body temperature was two or three degrees warmer than everybody else in the room. I would convince myself that my face was bright red and therefore everybody could see how I was feeling, but no one would know why, so it was embarrassing,” the Duke vulnerably admitted.
“You get in your head about it and then you’re just like, ‘Everybody’s looking at me.’ One bead of sweat feels like the whole face is pouring down. Just sweating, and then just all in my head going, ‘This is so embarrassing. What are they thinking of me? They have no idea. I can’t tell them.'”
Prince Harry then confessed that his mental struggles led him to use alcohol as a “mask”, stating, “I was willing to drink. I was willing to take drugs. I was willing to try and do the things that made me feel less like I was feeling.
“But I slowly became aware that okay I wasn’t drinking Monday to Friday, but I would probably drink a week’s worth in one day on a Friday or a Saturday night. And I would find myself drinking not because I was enjoying it but because I was trying to mask something.”
The first time Harry and his wife Meghan Markle sat down with Oprah, the Duchess also got candid about her harrowing mental health battle, admitting that she had at one point contemplated suicide.
The 39-year-old recounted that she originally felt “ashamed” to tell her husband that she was struggling, but she was aware that to not tell her husband would put her in a vulnerable position.
“I was ashamed to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry. But I knew that if I didn’t say it – then I would do it. I just didn’t want to be alive anymore. That was clear and real and frightening and constant thought” she said.
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